Tomorrow is the big day of our fingerprinting appointment at the local immigration office. Even though we've been fingerprinted before for our adoption certification for the state, this one is for our I-600A form (petition to bring an orphan into the U.S.). After our prints have been fully checked out at a federal level, we will receive our approval and officially be on the waiting list. That should happen by sometime in December.
We have made some recent (big) changes to our sibling child request, "upping" our age limit to 4 years old. That was a huge step for me. When we began this journey more than five years ago I had visions of babies in my head. Then, as we considered fostering and then adoption, I imagined a baby and a toddler (siblings). Because our WACAP agency contact said the likelihood of adopting siblings under the age of two was very slim, we moved to 2-1/2 and then up to 3 years old. That was several months ago. Again, the social worker spoke with us and said that they really don't see any sibling adoptions that young (unless twins, which we are VERY open to!). So we were at a cross-roads again. Actually, that's not completely true. WE weren't at a cross-roads, I was. Brian had always been open to adopting older children, hence the reason he had a heart for fostering. But for me, having a young baby was a really difficult thing to let go of. As I look back now I see that God really used the idea of fostering--even though we never actually got very far in the process--to plant a seed in my heart regarding older children.
When it came time to make a decision about what we wanted to do regarding our age request, I felt like I was wrestling with God. My will against His. I know God was gently urging me to completely surrender what I wanted and yield to what He wanted for our family. Like I said in an earlier post regarding our decision to foster, God was showing me that this whole journey was not about me. God has bigger plans for our family than I could conjure up in my own feeble mind, and He was once again waiting for me to trust Him fully. I was fighting this issue mostly because I was afraid. Adopting older children from another country has a whole host of difficulties: language barriers, emotional and physical difficulties, trouble with attachment, etc. So the wrestling ensued as I kept thinking of all the "negatives" and unknowns. Well, you can imagine who won in the end! During that week while we were deciding, I kept praying that God would give me a peace about it if we were to open ourselves to adopting older children. I honestly asked for a very clear sign. Per Brian's suggestion, I posted on several of the adoption yahoo groups I'm a part of, asking people to please email me privately if they had adopted older children, what their experiences had been, and if they would do it again. I was so overwhelmed by the responses I received. I had more than 20 emails come to me over those next few days, and every single person expressed positive feelings regarding adopting older children. They were also practical and filled with great advice regarding this issue. I was so touched how complete strangers from around the world (one was from Australia) would take the time to write to me, and be open to having me contact them for further help. God had sent my confirmation, and many times over.
So, that is where we are now in the adoption process. We are so excited now even though it could be many months of waiting still. Our caseworker hopes to have a referral for us by May, but with international adoption you just never know. Once we get on the waiting list we'll have a better idea of how long it may take. The fact that we are open to either gender helps. If you are receiving this blog via email, you may want to check out the actual blog site to see some new updates I've posted that you won't receive.
Now that the "paper chase" is done, I feel like we can finally start to really think about our children in Africa. I often daydream about them, wondering what they look like, how old they are, what they are doing right at that moment, and if they are hurting from the loss of a mother and father. We pray for them every day, and we pray for their families who have either given them up already, or are preparing to do so in the months ahead. We are keenly aware that through the birth family's pain, we will experience joy. It's a very humbling thought.
