Okay, I know it's strange for me to post two times in one day, but I just had to say: we had a very good day! Despite Milkanu having several sulking/sad moments (I call those "shutdowns"), we had no actual "meltdowns" today. That is a big accomplishment for us. And I do use the word "us" because not only did Milkanu control his emotions more, but we also did a better job learning how to deal with him. I feel like we are starting to finally figure out what works for him and what doesn't. I am most impressed with how Brian is dealing with Milkanu. For someone not known for his patience, Brian is doing such a good job nurturing Milkanu and figuring out what his son needs. He is strong when I am not, and I am so thankful for that. He has been there for our family, both physically and emotionally. God is really softening Brian's heart toward this precious boy and helping him to become an even better father.
I also wanted to let you all know how the boys' doctor appointment went today. 19-month old Tadesse gained 2 pounds in just over 2 weeks (he is now 22.5 lbs)! That is pretty awesome considering he is such a picky eater. I'm sure the whole milk mixed with Pediasure 3 times a day has helped a lot with that. He is still only in the 16th percentile for his weight and only the 3rd percentile for his height, but I know that will change dramatically in this first year because of multivitamins and good nutrition. Milkanu (5 years and 10 months) is 13th percentile for his weight at 39 pounds and also only in the 3rd percentile for his height (39 inches). He is only wearing 4T clothes. But that kid can EAT! We were surprised that he didn't gain any weight in the last two weeks, actually.
Both boys had a skin test to check for TB, and we go back Wednesday for them to check the areas. Milkanu had 4 immunizations and Tadesse had 5 today! It was so sad seeing them hurting and knowing they did not understand why we were doing this to them. We were amazed how well both boys did and that Milkanu didn't end up melting down (just crying a little). We have to go back in 6 weeks to get more. Milkanu will have to have quite a few immunizations done to catch up for the 5 years he hasn't had any (we are assuming since there is no documentation). I'm just praying that he doesn't resent going to the doctor's office. :( Another cool thing about the pediatrican: her husband is Ethiopian! She spoke a few words to Milkanu in Amharic and he understood her. Just another neat person that God has put in our path. She did a culture for a mysterious spot Milkanu has on his arm (seems like a boil or a blister, but hasn't gone away with antiobiotic cream), and if that comes back inconclusive, she is going to set us up with an appointment to see her brother-in-law (also Ethiopian!) who is a dermatologist. So, beyond those things, the boys seem pretty healthy. For Tadesse's turning out of his legs, we are just going to keep an eye on it. The dr. says that it usually corrects itself over time as they walk more and those muscles develop more. So that's good news. Bad news for Milkanu is that she thinks he has two to three cavities. I was bummed to hear that, because that's just one more doctor appointment for him. I have no idea how we'll get through that one, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when it comes. I had been hoping to put off the dentist for a little while, but now we can't.
Both Brian and I and now Preston have ringworm (not actually a worm, but a fungal skin infection), which we probably either picked up from the orphanage or from one of the boys. Neither Milkanu or Tadesse have any signs of it, but they could still be carriers. Brian has a spot on his arm, Preston on his leg, and--lucky me--I have two small spots on my face. Not fair!!! Hopefully it goes away fast and doesn't spread to anyone else. :( Taylor is super paranoid about getting it.
By the way, if you get this blog directly emailed to you instead of going to my blog site, you may want to check it out sometime. I have posted on there some cute pictures of the boys, with my favorite one of the two of them together at the top of the page.
I feel like today was definetely a step forward with no steps back. Praise the Lord for that!!!! Now we'll just see what tomorrow brings...
Blessings!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Three weeks down, many more years to go!
Dear Lord, Give me what is needed to get us through another week... No, not just to "get through", but to learn, grow, change, and become closer to Milkanu. Help me to enjoy my time with him, to have patience with him when he is defiant and doesn't listen to me, to have energy to keep up with his, to have wisdom when I don't know how to handle him, to not lose my temper, to have empathy when he acts out, to have unconditional love when he is not loveable. God, let me see this little boy the way you see him. Help me to remember what he has been through and what he is still going through in his little heart. Help me to find the good in all situations. Give me strength beyond that which I can attain on my own. Give me peace and joy that abounds from YOU alone. When I face a difficult day, let it draw me closer into You. Amen
We survived the third week home with our boys! We had ups and downs, improvements and setbacks. Improvements: Milkanu is definetely bonding more with us. He touches more, holds our hands, gives stronger hugs, wants our comfort or closeness when he is sad or angry, and wants to spend all his time with us. In that lies a little of a setback. He used to play well by himself, but now he demands all of our time and doesn't like to do things on his own. Often, if I am on the phone or on the computer (which doesn't happen very often), he tries to distract me, talk with me, tickle me, etc. He often pouts or does something annoying to get my attention. We spend a lot of time playing with him, but if we stop (because we need a break or want to give time to Taddie or someone else) he often gets upset. Trying to find that balance with him, teaching him to play by himself sometimes, and not always having to entertain him or have somebody "watch" him, is very difficult with the language barrier. Grrrr!
That brings me to another subject. On the one hand, I am SO thankful that Milkanu is using more English words on his own (yes, thank you, please, all done, etc.), and he is obviously understanding a lot more than he did when we first came home. He is also talking to us in Sidamigna a lot more, trying to communicate to us in his own language. He loves it when we repeat what he is saying, and he laughs when he speaks to us and we say "deh afoh moh" (I don't understand). He thinks it is quite hilarious when we smile and look puzzled. However, when he is upset, he clams up and will not tell us what is wrong or even try. That is very frustrating. Similiar to when a baby or toddler is crying uncontrollably and he doesn't have words to tell you what's wrong. Many adoptive parents told me that the language barrier wasn't a big deal and that they pick it up pretty quickly. Although I am seeing improvements already, to me, the language barrier IS a big deal. If I could explain to Milkanu WHY I am saying no to a particular thing, or that he needs to play by himself sometimes, that his brother and sister (and mom for that matter!) need a break... If he could explain to us why he is upset. If we could reason with him... All that would be so helpful. But I know that will come. I just wish we could communicate better right now. I guess I'm just impatient and frustrated sometimes, but I know the Lord wants me to focus on the positive and the great strides we have already made. The biggest improvement is how Milkanu treats Tadesse. He has become very loving and good at sharing with him, holding Tadesse's hand when he tries to walk, and hugging him. He actually seems to like him! That warms my heart.
Tadesse has taken a few steps on his own! He loves to walk (with help) and to cruise the furniture. He tries to repeat a lot of words that we say, and he says "Mommy" and "Daddy" well. Although he isn't a very sound sleeper, he sleeps in late (today I woke him up at 8:30!) That would be great for me except that Milkanu is still getting up a little before 6am every morning. So I am trying to get used to going to bed by no later than 10pm, but really 9 is more ideal, since I am now a very light sleeper. I hear Tadesse a couple of times a night (thankfully he only cries for about 10 seconds and then goes back to sleep), then I hear Brian when he wakes up at 4am. My body is trying hard to adjust, but for being such a night owl all these years, it is a hard adjustment! I am beginning to love my morning coffee (full caff) now more than I ever did to help me wake up. :) I am so fortunate to have a break on the weekends when Brian is home, since he then gets up early with Milkanu. What I can't get over is the energy that this little 5-year-old has at 6:30 in the morning! I can usually get him to sit through one cartoon while I rest on the couch and try to fully wake-up, but by 6:30 he is ready to go and bouncing (literally) around me. I am so feeling my 38 years...
Okay other updates: The boys blood, urine, and stool labs came back last week. The doctor said that everything looked good, except that Tadesse had (still has?) a parasite. He was on antibiotics for a week, and now I have to get his stool retested to make sure it's gone. He is eating better but is still picky. Lately he loves spaghetti and lasagna, milk, still likes eggs, and he eats all those toddler snacks that are mostly puffed air, I think. He usually always eats bread and yogurt, too. His stomach has gone way down and I think it may be close to normal size now. (It was very enlarged due to malnutrition and probably the parasite.) His x-ray on his femur showed no signs of rickets anymore! Yeah! He still turns out his feet when he walks, so I will ask the doctor about that. Both boys have an appointment today, so I'll let you know what she says. We need to start them on vaccinations (don't think they have had any, but we don't know for sure), but I'm not sure if we should do that today and stress them out. They've already had blood drawn and that was pretty tough since they both had to be stuck twice and have the needle moved around so the techs could get good blood flow. :( Fortunately, Brian is meeting me at the appointment so he can help hold down Milkanu if we decide to do it. Tadesse's thyroid level was a little low, so they want to retest that in 6 months. Tadesse was clear of HIV, and all forms of Hepatitis--showed immunity to them all. According to the labs, Milkanu does not have immunity to Hep C. Today we will probably do the skin test for TB and maybe get their hearing/sight tests done.
Okay, I think that is all for now. I have more to write, but I better go relieve Taylor, who has both kids outside on her own. Did I mention lately how thankful I am to have older kids to help me? God is so good that he allowed us to wait to have more children until our biological children were older. I couldn't do this without their help! I pay them each $10 a week (on top of chore money) to help out and play with the boys. It has been wonderful. I will try to write a quick blog later today or tomorrow to let you all know how the doctor appointment goes. It's right during Tadesse's naptime, so should be interesting...
Please keep praying--every day is still a challenge. Your prayers for us have made all the difference for our family. Please keep them coming our way!!!!!
Blessings to you all.
We survived the third week home with our boys! We had ups and downs, improvements and setbacks. Improvements: Milkanu is definetely bonding more with us. He touches more, holds our hands, gives stronger hugs, wants our comfort or closeness when he is sad or angry, and wants to spend all his time with us. In that lies a little of a setback. He used to play well by himself, but now he demands all of our time and doesn't like to do things on his own. Often, if I am on the phone or on the computer (which doesn't happen very often), he tries to distract me, talk with me, tickle me, etc. He often pouts or does something annoying to get my attention. We spend a lot of time playing with him, but if we stop (because we need a break or want to give time to Taddie or someone else) he often gets upset. Trying to find that balance with him, teaching him to play by himself sometimes, and not always having to entertain him or have somebody "watch" him, is very difficult with the language barrier. Grrrr!
That brings me to another subject. On the one hand, I am SO thankful that Milkanu is using more English words on his own (yes, thank you, please, all done, etc.), and he is obviously understanding a lot more than he did when we first came home. He is also talking to us in Sidamigna a lot more, trying to communicate to us in his own language. He loves it when we repeat what he is saying, and he laughs when he speaks to us and we say "deh afoh moh" (I don't understand). He thinks it is quite hilarious when we smile and look puzzled. However, when he is upset, he clams up and will not tell us what is wrong or even try. That is very frustrating. Similiar to when a baby or toddler is crying uncontrollably and he doesn't have words to tell you what's wrong. Many adoptive parents told me that the language barrier wasn't a big deal and that they pick it up pretty quickly. Although I am seeing improvements already, to me, the language barrier IS a big deal. If I could explain to Milkanu WHY I am saying no to a particular thing, or that he needs to play by himself sometimes, that his brother and sister (and mom for that matter!) need a break... If he could explain to us why he is upset. If we could reason with him... All that would be so helpful. But I know that will come. I just wish we could communicate better right now. I guess I'm just impatient and frustrated sometimes, but I know the Lord wants me to focus on the positive and the great strides we have already made. The biggest improvement is how Milkanu treats Tadesse. He has become very loving and good at sharing with him, holding Tadesse's hand when he tries to walk, and hugging him. He actually seems to like him! That warms my heart.
Tadesse has taken a few steps on his own! He loves to walk (with help) and to cruise the furniture. He tries to repeat a lot of words that we say, and he says "Mommy" and "Daddy" well. Although he isn't a very sound sleeper, he sleeps in late (today I woke him up at 8:30!) That would be great for me except that Milkanu is still getting up a little before 6am every morning. So I am trying to get used to going to bed by no later than 10pm, but really 9 is more ideal, since I am now a very light sleeper. I hear Tadesse a couple of times a night (thankfully he only cries for about 10 seconds and then goes back to sleep), then I hear Brian when he wakes up at 4am. My body is trying hard to adjust, but for being such a night owl all these years, it is a hard adjustment! I am beginning to love my morning coffee (full caff) now more than I ever did to help me wake up. :) I am so fortunate to have a break on the weekends when Brian is home, since he then gets up early with Milkanu. What I can't get over is the energy that this little 5-year-old has at 6:30 in the morning! I can usually get him to sit through one cartoon while I rest on the couch and try to fully wake-up, but by 6:30 he is ready to go and bouncing (literally) around me. I am so feeling my 38 years...
Okay other updates: The boys blood, urine, and stool labs came back last week. The doctor said that everything looked good, except that Tadesse had (still has?) a parasite. He was on antibiotics for a week, and now I have to get his stool retested to make sure it's gone. He is eating better but is still picky. Lately he loves spaghetti and lasagna, milk, still likes eggs, and he eats all those toddler snacks that are mostly puffed air, I think. He usually always eats bread and yogurt, too. His stomach has gone way down and I think it may be close to normal size now. (It was very enlarged due to malnutrition and probably the parasite.) His x-ray on his femur showed no signs of rickets anymore! Yeah! He still turns out his feet when he walks, so I will ask the doctor about that. Both boys have an appointment today, so I'll let you know what she says. We need to start them on vaccinations (don't think they have had any, but we don't know for sure), but I'm not sure if we should do that today and stress them out. They've already had blood drawn and that was pretty tough since they both had to be stuck twice and have the needle moved around so the techs could get good blood flow. :( Fortunately, Brian is meeting me at the appointment so he can help hold down Milkanu if we decide to do it. Tadesse's thyroid level was a little low, so they want to retest that in 6 months. Tadesse was clear of HIV, and all forms of Hepatitis--showed immunity to them all. According to the labs, Milkanu does not have immunity to Hep C. Today we will probably do the skin test for TB and maybe get their hearing/sight tests done.
Okay, I think that is all for now. I have more to write, but I better go relieve Taylor, who has both kids outside on her own. Did I mention lately how thankful I am to have older kids to help me? God is so good that he allowed us to wait to have more children until our biological children were older. I couldn't do this without their help! I pay them each $10 a week (on top of chore money) to help out and play with the boys. It has been wonderful. I will try to write a quick blog later today or tomorrow to let you all know how the doctor appointment goes. It's right during Tadesse's naptime, so should be interesting...
Please keep praying--every day is still a challenge. Your prayers for us have made all the difference for our family. Please keep them coming our way!!!!!
Blessings to you all.
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