As I was beginning to write this last addition to my travel blog, it dawned on me what day it is. It is May 5, 2011. That may not be a day of significance for many of you (unless you are Mexican!) but for me, it is very much so. Four years ago on this day, Brian finally decided that we should try to have more children. For almost 2 years prior to that, I had been desperately praying that I would hear those words. But even as the decision of that day sunk in, I never imagined that our future would unfold the way it did. I didn't expect that it would take four long years to welcome more children into our family, and I didn't think it would be by adoption that our family would grow (even though that was my heart's original desire). God sure surprised us in a BIG way!
So what a perfect day it is to talk about April 21, 2011: our boys' "Gotcha Day"! As you may or may not know, that name is frequently used in adoption circles to indicate the day that children are legally adopted. It was two weeks ago today, which seems amazing to me. Time is moving quickly, yet not quickly enough since we want to bring Milkanu and Tadesse home. So, we and the four other families in our group went to the courthouse at 9am Thursday morning. We had been warned that we may wait around all day, in a very crowded, warm room, with possibly no place to sit, until it was our turn in front of the judge. But we were very fortunate to be called into the judge's chambers at just before 11 a.m. She called us in as a group and asked us about six or seven questions (which we all answered as a group "yes" on every one of them). We had heard that with all the delays and changes going on right now with Ethiopian adoptions, some families don't get approved on that day of court because all the paperwork wasn't in on time (but they almost always pass court a few days later). This fear was hanging over all of us as we waited for her to call our names. I remember she said something like, "Milkanu and Tadesse... It's approved" (or something else short like that--it's all a blur now!). We were so elated and so relieved that all went so smoothly. As we listened with held breaths, she went through each family, and thankfully, everyone passed court! We all beamed at each other and tried to remain composed before the judge, but we discussed later that we all felt like jumping up and clapping. It's hard to keep it together when the judge announces news so incredible and profoundly life changing! Once outside of her chamber doors, we hugged and cried together. It was an incredible day I will never forget.
So, here I sit trying to wrap my mind around all of it. It has been sinking in more and more, but I know I won't really "get it" until they've been home with us for a few days. It's hard to believe that I will be experiencing my first Mother's Day as a mother of four, not two. That leads me to another very special May 5, two years ago. (I blogged about it on May 16, 2009.) It was a couple days before Mother's Day, just like it is now. It had been two years since Brian had had the vasectomy reversal, and two years of infertility. I had just found out that once again I was not pregnant, and I had desperately cried out to God wondering why this was happening to us. My kids didn't know about the negative pregnancy test or how upset I had been just moments before, when they came into my bedroom to give me the Mother's Day gifts they had chosen for me. They were leaving town for a soccer tournament, so they were giving the gifts to me early. Taylor gave me a bracelet she had picked out which had the words "Faith" engraved in it, and Preston gave me a Willow Tree angel which said "Angel of Miracles". I knew immediately that God had used my children to send to me a message of hope. He wanted me to hold onto my faith and believe that a miracle was truly coming. Here I sit, two years later, seeing the fulfillment of that miracle in our two wonderful Ethiopian gifts from God. Praise the Lord!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
ETHIOPIA TRIP: Part 2 (Days 5-7)
Sorry to leave everyone hanging for awhile! But before I get into Day 5 of the trip, I wanted to write a few words about how Orthodox Ethiopian Christians celebrate Easter, since we were there during Passover. Since we were back in the states on Easter Sunday, I didn't get to experience the holiday celebration myself, but our friends and fellow adopters Kelly Jo and John were still in Ethiopia at the time. This is what she wrote to me: "On Sunday we laid low but the staff [of the TDS Hotel, where we all stayed] invited us to join them for Easter feast of lamb stew, tripe, steamed bread and a coffee ceremony. It's tradition to scatter fresh grass on the floor on Easter. It was lovely... So on the night before Easter they hold vigil, awaiting Christ's rise from the tomb. Then they have a feast, with lamb being slaughtered the night before--we saw so many sheep on the streets being bought and sold and taken home. Apparently a butcher goes from house to house to slaughter the sheep. They are a very devout people. They pray all night and then when Jesus rises they celebrate by breaking their fast. They fast all day Friday and Saturday. They invite all the poor in for the feast and share what they have." Isn't that awesome? It humbles me to think about how devoted they are in their faith, and how greatly they honor our Lord during the most important Christian holiday. In America, we could definetely learn a thing or two from them! Okay, onto the rest of the trip...
Day 5: We finally got to meet the boys! The fourteen in our travel group boarded two vans to drive about 6 hours to Hawassa, which is where the Ajuuja Childrens' Home is located. Like our other experiences with car rides in Ethiopia up to this point, we were in for an adventure. When we made it out of Addis, most of our traffic was cattle, horses, donkeys, and goats that were frequently crossing or standing in the middle of the road. Many a times I held my breath as we narrowly passed by them. The driver told us that it wasn't too big of a deal if you hit a goat, but sheep were apparently bad because you had to pay the owner a lot more money (makes sense because we saw lamb on the menu at many restaurants!). I then wondered if he had personal experience with this? There doesn't seem to be any speed limits, and I was surprised how fast they cruised along, despite the animal obstacles. I was glad that this vehicle had seatbelts, unlike some of the other taxis we had been in...
As we drove through the Great Rift Valley, we passed a lot of farming (maize, coffee, onion, ??), hundreds of huge flower greenhouses (Ethiopia is a very large flower exporter), lakes, rivers, and traditional grass huts (gojos). Many people of all ages stood near the side of the road selling fruits, vegetables, large knives, and live chickens. It was not uncommon to see children driving large herds of cattle and goats. In Ethiopia, it was obvious that the whole family worked for survival. After two stops to get gas and have lunch, we arrived at our incredible resort on Lake Awassa. As we made our way up the driveway, we kept spotting monkeys sitting on the fence tops or hanging from the trees. The resort was so beautiful and the staff there was so nice. We wished we could have stayed there for many more days than we did. I have never seen so many birds and monkeys in one place outside of a zoo. In fact, one little monkey was hanging out right outside of our room window, looking in at us, with his feet propped up against the glass! So cute.
But we were all in a hurry to go to the orphanage to meet our boys (all five families in our group were adopting boys), so after checking into our rooms, we quickly reloaded the vans with people and luggage filled with donations. It was a quick drive there, and we were ushered into a small room, where we were greeted by Ato (Mr.) Eyasu, the director of the orphanage, and his wife. His wife presented us with beautiful traditional scarves and they gratefully received our donations. We and another family had been able to bring 80 lbs. of formula each. Thank you to all of you who participated in our formula drive. We could tell that they were very happy to receive it and we actually saw them use it shortly after it was given, so they obviously were in great need of formula for the babies. Then they began to bring the children into the room, one at a time. What a moment! Seeing our boys for the first time, dressed in the matching yellow and brown outfits we had sent to them earlier, caused my heart to leap to my throat. I was determined not to cry because I didn't want to freak them out, and I managed not to totally lose it. They were so beautiful--even more so in person than the pictures portrayed. Milkanu gave all of us a big hug and then he let me lift him to my lap for a family picture. We greeted Tadesse, too, but he stayed in the safety of the orphanage director's arms because he was very nervous around us. I am sure it was an overwhelming experience for both of them. But Milkanu, although shy, seemed happy and open to meeting us.
We spent about two hours with the boys in the small courtyard inside the orphanage compound. We kicked the soccer ball (Brian had brought three soccer balls to leave at the orphanage, which the kids LOVED!), blew bubbles, and looked through the photo album which we had earlier sent to Milkanu with the outfits and some cars and stickers. We tried to show him the connection between the photos and us being there in person. I think he got it, but who knows? I tried to use my limited Sidama vocabulary, but he kind of looked at me blankly, so I have no idea if I was saying things correctly! After later talking to the nanny and orphan directors, we learned that Milkanu is very sweet and obedient. He also really thinks things through before doing anything; he is very deliberate in his actions. As we watched him, we saw him really taking in everything around him. I was wondering the whole time, "What is he thinking about all of this?" I can't wait until he is a little older and speaks English so he can tell us what this day was like from his perspective.
Tadesse was less than enthusiastic about meeting us. Poor guy, he was so afraid of what was going on. He never smiled, but at least he wasn't crying unless one of the workers tried to hand him to me! Fortunately, because of what my caseworker Patty had told me about him, I was prepared for his reaction. I went into the situation not expecting him to let me hold him at all. So, I was THRILLED that he finally let me hold him after about an hour of talking to him and rubbing his back while the nanny held him. It was near the end of our stay, so I only held him for about 15 minutes, but I was so happy! I was able to capture the moment with video and a couple pictures.
Tuesday, after a wonderful 30 minute boat ride around part of Lake Awassa(courtesy of the resort), we went back to the orphanage from 9-12 and then 3-6. It was so great being able to spend that much time with the boys. Of course, Tadesse would not let us hold him again, but at least we interacted a little with him while he was with his nannies. With Milkanu (who seemed pleased we were there) we enjoyed playing some more soccer, blowing bubbles, coloring, playing with play-doh, and playing with the matchbox cars we had sent him earlier. We also were able to see him interact a little more that day with other children in the orphanage. Most of the time they kept the other children who weren't being adopted by our families in another room and away from us. We had wished they let them out to play with all of us. With the language barrier, and not knowing each other very well yet, it was a little awkward at times with the boys. When the other children in the orphanage came out to play, all the boys noticeably relaxed as they interacted with the others. We finally heard Milkanu speak as he played with his friends, but he never really strayed far from hanging with us. That made us feel quite special. My favorite moment of the whole trip was when I saw Milkanu walk over to Brian and sit next to him, ON HIS OWN. It was the sweetest site.
On that day (Day 6), we also had the honor of meeting a member of the boys' birth family. Because we'd like to keep the boys' birth family information private and personal--allowing them to later on share with whom they choose to--I'm not going to reveal whom we spoke to, but I will say that it was a very memorable and treasured experience. Not only were we able to express our gratefulness for and devotion and commitment to the boys, but we also were able to find out some more family background. I had brought pictures and a letter also to give to this person. We took photos and video, as we know this meeting will someday be very important for the boys. We are so grateful that God ordained the meeting and that everything went quite smoothly. I will never forget it. Also, on Tuesday we were able to meet with the boys' nannies to find out more information about their schedules, personalities, likes and dislikes, etc., which was quite helpful. Although Tadesse does not crawl or walk yet, the nanny says he scoots around on his butt to get to where he wants to go. She also said that he is usually happy and likes to play with toys and other children in the orphanage. Since we didn't see that side of him, I cannot wait to see him smiling and relaxed for the first time. Brian jokingly nicknamed him "Happy" during our visits with him. I hope he actually lives up to that name! :)
Day 7: Saying goodbye Wednesday morning was a moment I will never forget. It was much harder than I thought it would be. I just picked Milkanu up and held him for about 15 minutes, trying to soak up every last bit of him. He was holding a pen, so I drew a heart on the back of his hand. I never saw Tadesse that morning, but I was so sad to leave him, too. To help them to remember us, I had brought each of them a soft blanket sprayed lightly with my perfume to sleep with at night. We made sure that our driver translated to him that we were leaving but that we would come back soon to bring them back home to live with us forever, and that we loved them very much. After Milkanu gave everyone hugs, we walked out of the gates. Kelly Jo and I just hugged each other and cried. I am so grateful that we had all these loving families with us who understood what we were going through, since they were going through the same thing. That common bond really pulled us all together. We drove back to Addis Ababa after leaving the orphanage. Traffic was a lot heavier going INTO the city instead of away from it, but otherwise it was an uneventful trip back.
Okay, I need to head to bed. Part 3 of this blog will be much shorter, since we were only in Ethiopia one more day. But it was a very important day indeed... :)
Day 5: We finally got to meet the boys! The fourteen in our travel group boarded two vans to drive about 6 hours to Hawassa, which is where the Ajuuja Childrens' Home is located. Like our other experiences with car rides in Ethiopia up to this point, we were in for an adventure. When we made it out of Addis, most of our traffic was cattle, horses, donkeys, and goats that were frequently crossing or standing in the middle of the road. Many a times I held my breath as we narrowly passed by them. The driver told us that it wasn't too big of a deal if you hit a goat, but sheep were apparently bad because you had to pay the owner a lot more money (makes sense because we saw lamb on the menu at many restaurants!). I then wondered if he had personal experience with this? There doesn't seem to be any speed limits, and I was surprised how fast they cruised along, despite the animal obstacles. I was glad that this vehicle had seatbelts, unlike some of the other taxis we had been in...
As we drove through the Great Rift Valley, we passed a lot of farming (maize, coffee, onion, ??), hundreds of huge flower greenhouses (Ethiopia is a very large flower exporter), lakes, rivers, and traditional grass huts (gojos). Many people of all ages stood near the side of the road selling fruits, vegetables, large knives, and live chickens. It was not uncommon to see children driving large herds of cattle and goats. In Ethiopia, it was obvious that the whole family worked for survival. After two stops to get gas and have lunch, we arrived at our incredible resort on Lake Awassa. As we made our way up the driveway, we kept spotting monkeys sitting on the fence tops or hanging from the trees. The resort was so beautiful and the staff there was so nice. We wished we could have stayed there for many more days than we did. I have never seen so many birds and monkeys in one place outside of a zoo. In fact, one little monkey was hanging out right outside of our room window, looking in at us, with his feet propped up against the glass! So cute.
But we were all in a hurry to go to the orphanage to meet our boys (all five families in our group were adopting boys), so after checking into our rooms, we quickly reloaded the vans with people and luggage filled with donations. It was a quick drive there, and we were ushered into a small room, where we were greeted by Ato (Mr.) Eyasu, the director of the orphanage, and his wife. His wife presented us with beautiful traditional scarves and they gratefully received our donations. We and another family had been able to bring 80 lbs. of formula each. Thank you to all of you who participated in our formula drive. We could tell that they were very happy to receive it and we actually saw them use it shortly after it was given, so they obviously were in great need of formula for the babies. Then they began to bring the children into the room, one at a time. What a moment! Seeing our boys for the first time, dressed in the matching yellow and brown outfits we had sent to them earlier, caused my heart to leap to my throat. I was determined not to cry because I didn't want to freak them out, and I managed not to totally lose it. They were so beautiful--even more so in person than the pictures portrayed. Milkanu gave all of us a big hug and then he let me lift him to my lap for a family picture. We greeted Tadesse, too, but he stayed in the safety of the orphanage director's arms because he was very nervous around us. I am sure it was an overwhelming experience for both of them. But Milkanu, although shy, seemed happy and open to meeting us.
We spent about two hours with the boys in the small courtyard inside the orphanage compound. We kicked the soccer ball (Brian had brought three soccer balls to leave at the orphanage, which the kids LOVED!), blew bubbles, and looked through the photo album which we had earlier sent to Milkanu with the outfits and some cars and stickers. We tried to show him the connection between the photos and us being there in person. I think he got it, but who knows? I tried to use my limited Sidama vocabulary, but he kind of looked at me blankly, so I have no idea if I was saying things correctly! After later talking to the nanny and orphan directors, we learned that Milkanu is very sweet and obedient. He also really thinks things through before doing anything; he is very deliberate in his actions. As we watched him, we saw him really taking in everything around him. I was wondering the whole time, "What is he thinking about all of this?" I can't wait until he is a little older and speaks English so he can tell us what this day was like from his perspective.
Tadesse was less than enthusiastic about meeting us. Poor guy, he was so afraid of what was going on. He never smiled, but at least he wasn't crying unless one of the workers tried to hand him to me! Fortunately, because of what my caseworker Patty had told me about him, I was prepared for his reaction. I went into the situation not expecting him to let me hold him at all. So, I was THRILLED that he finally let me hold him after about an hour of talking to him and rubbing his back while the nanny held him. It was near the end of our stay, so I only held him for about 15 minutes, but I was so happy! I was able to capture the moment with video and a couple pictures.
Tuesday, after a wonderful 30 minute boat ride around part of Lake Awassa(courtesy of the resort), we went back to the orphanage from 9-12 and then 3-6. It was so great being able to spend that much time with the boys. Of course, Tadesse would not let us hold him again, but at least we interacted a little with him while he was with his nannies. With Milkanu (who seemed pleased we were there) we enjoyed playing some more soccer, blowing bubbles, coloring, playing with play-doh, and playing with the matchbox cars we had sent him earlier. We also were able to see him interact a little more that day with other children in the orphanage. Most of the time they kept the other children who weren't being adopted by our families in another room and away from us. We had wished they let them out to play with all of us. With the language barrier, and not knowing each other very well yet, it was a little awkward at times with the boys. When the other children in the orphanage came out to play, all the boys noticeably relaxed as they interacted with the others. We finally heard Milkanu speak as he played with his friends, but he never really strayed far from hanging with us. That made us feel quite special. My favorite moment of the whole trip was when I saw Milkanu walk over to Brian and sit next to him, ON HIS OWN. It was the sweetest site.
On that day (Day 6), we also had the honor of meeting a member of the boys' birth family. Because we'd like to keep the boys' birth family information private and personal--allowing them to later on share with whom they choose to--I'm not going to reveal whom we spoke to, but I will say that it was a very memorable and treasured experience. Not only were we able to express our gratefulness for and devotion and commitment to the boys, but we also were able to find out some more family background. I had brought pictures and a letter also to give to this person. We took photos and video, as we know this meeting will someday be very important for the boys. We are so grateful that God ordained the meeting and that everything went quite smoothly. I will never forget it. Also, on Tuesday we were able to meet with the boys' nannies to find out more information about their schedules, personalities, likes and dislikes, etc., which was quite helpful. Although Tadesse does not crawl or walk yet, the nanny says he scoots around on his butt to get to where he wants to go. She also said that he is usually happy and likes to play with toys and other children in the orphanage. Since we didn't see that side of him, I cannot wait to see him smiling and relaxed for the first time. Brian jokingly nicknamed him "Happy" during our visits with him. I hope he actually lives up to that name! :)
Day 7: Saying goodbye Wednesday morning was a moment I will never forget. It was much harder than I thought it would be. I just picked Milkanu up and held him for about 15 minutes, trying to soak up every last bit of him. He was holding a pen, so I drew a heart on the back of his hand. I never saw Tadesse that morning, but I was so sad to leave him, too. To help them to remember us, I had brought each of them a soft blanket sprayed lightly with my perfume to sleep with at night. We made sure that our driver translated to him that we were leaving but that we would come back soon to bring them back home to live with us forever, and that we loved them very much. After Milkanu gave everyone hugs, we walked out of the gates. Kelly Jo and I just hugged each other and cried. I am so grateful that we had all these loving families with us who understood what we were going through, since they were going through the same thing. That common bond really pulled us all together. We drove back to Addis Ababa after leaving the orphanage. Traffic was a lot heavier going INTO the city instead of away from it, but otherwise it was an uneventful trip back.
Okay, I need to head to bed. Part 3 of this blog will be much shorter, since we were only in Ethiopia one more day. But it was a very important day indeed... :)
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