Quick update...

I went to the fertility doc today to have an ultrasound. The follicles look good--1 large one, 3 smaller ones (which means that probably only the one dominant one will release an egg, but who knows...). My mom just gave me my "trigger" shot tonight, which enduces ovulation in about 36 hrs. The IUI procedure is scheduled for exactly 36 hrs. after the shot: Saturday morning at 8:30. I am concerned because I seem to have thin uterine lining again this month. As a reminder, if the lining is too thin, a fertilized egg may not implant, thus no pregnancy.) I really wanted everything to line up perfectly for this last IUI attempt, but it's just not going to happen that way. So, that has me discouraged. I know that I just have to let that all go, trust the doctors, and most of all: trust God. I am trying to dwell on the verse I wrote in the last blog--to stay confident. God can and will make this happen this month IF it is His will, regardless of the circumstances. And with the added complication of a thin uterine lining, just think how much more of a miracle it will be if it happens this month! Please pray that all will go smoothly within my body and during the procedure Saturday, and obviously for a successful outcome. I'll let everyone know what happens in about 2 weeks. Please pray that I will be hopeful, while at the same time prepared for possible disappointment. I guess I just want God to protect my heart. And Brian's, too! Thank you dear friends.

Stay confident...Live by faith!

I just wanted to share a Bible verse that the Lord led me to today; I "accidentally" stumbled upon it while looking for another verse:

"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised... But the righteous will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with Him." (Hebrews 10:35-38)

Wow, did that convict me! As each month passes, it gets more and more difficult to believe I'll ever get pregnant. But I don't want to go into this procedure with doubts and hesitation; I instead want to have an abundance of faith and hope. My cousin told me that she was praying for me like this was the first month we've ever tried, and in expectation that it will happen. That really helped me to focus my prayers and my thoughts this week. I'd be so honored if you prayed alongside us in that way. Thank you dear brothers and sisters in Christ!!!!!

We are hopefully in our last month of fertility treatment. The cysts are gone and I am on fertility medication (Femera). If all goes well this next week, we will probably do our third--and last--IUI next weekend. So, it's either "third time's a charm" or "three strikes, your out." You know which one we're all praying for!! I'm ready to be done with all of this focused "trying", but I'm glad we are doing this one last procedure. I am humbly asking for your prayers again this month. You all know how badly we want this to happen, and after so much disappointment it's difficult to let ourselves hope. Those of you who are close to me probably feel the same way.

I know God can move mountains, so I know this is not too big for Him. It's very comforting to really realize that no matter how slim our chances seem from our human perspective, in reality it has no bearing on God's ability to make something happen or not. It doesn't matter if we have a 20%, a 15% (or less) chance of getting pregnant. It could be a 1% chance. Our God is not limited by percentages, chances, nor odds. He can do ANYTHING. If we are meant to get pregnant, God will allow it to happen: no matter how the deck is stacked against us. Period. Beyond being faithful in prayer, obedient to His leading when He moves us to action or tells us to wait, and carefully following His word, there is nothing more we can do. At first that thought was terrifying to me because I realized I wasn't really in control. But I feel like God has brought me to a place in my life that I can be relieved that I'm not in control. I KNOW my God is good and that He causes all things to work for my good to fulfill His purpose. Knowing that--really believing that--makes all the difference. I hope you, too, have that same assurance, because it brings such amazing peace. I'm not saying I always feel okay about this situation. You know from my past blogs that it certainly wouldn't be true! There are many times that I am so angry and frustrated and sad in my longing. During those times I wish that God had never placed this desire on my heart in the first place. But even though I don't understand God's complete purpose in this, I do understand that He has a purpose in this. That's why I can have peace.

Thank you in advance for your prayers. I know God is listening and that we can move Him with our prayers. I believe that in faith, and I hope you do too. I'll keep everyone posted! :)