Dear Lord, Give me what is needed to get us through another week... No, not just to "get through", but to learn, grow, change, and become closer to Milkanu. Help me to enjoy my time with him, to have patience with him when he is defiant and doesn't listen to me, to have energy to keep up with his, to have wisdom when I don't know how to handle him, to not lose my temper, to have empathy when he acts out, to have unconditional love when he is not loveable. God, let me see this little boy the way you see him. Help me to remember what he has been through and what he is still going through in his little heart. Help me to find the good in all situations. Give me strength beyond that which I can attain on my own. Give me peace and joy that abounds from YOU alone. When I face a difficult day, let it draw me closer into You. Amen
We survived the third week home with our boys! We had ups and downs, improvements and setbacks. Improvements: Milkanu is definetely bonding more with us. He touches more, holds our hands, gives stronger hugs, wants our comfort or closeness when he is sad or angry, and wants to spend all his time with us. In that lies a little of a setback. He used to play well by himself, but now he demands all of our time and doesn't like to do things on his own. Often, if I am on the phone or on the computer (which doesn't happen very often), he tries to distract me, talk with me, tickle me, etc. He often pouts or does something annoying to get my attention. We spend a lot of time playing with him, but if we stop (because we need a break or want to give time to Taddie or someone else) he often gets upset. Trying to find that balance with him, teaching him to play by himself sometimes, and not always having to entertain him or have somebody "watch" him, is very difficult with the language barrier. Grrrr!
That brings me to another subject. On the one hand, I am SO thankful that Milkanu is using more English words on his own (yes, thank you, please, all done, etc.), and he is obviously understanding a lot more than he did when we first came home. He is also talking to us in Sidamigna a lot more, trying to communicate to us in his own language. He loves it when we repeat what he is saying, and he laughs when he speaks to us and we say "deh afoh moh" (I don't understand). He thinks it is quite hilarious when we smile and look puzzled. However, when he is upset, he clams up and will not tell us what is wrong or even try. That is very frustrating. Similiar to when a baby or toddler is crying uncontrollably and he doesn't have words to tell you what's wrong. Many adoptive parents told me that the language barrier wasn't a big deal and that they pick it up pretty quickly. Although I am seeing improvements already, to me, the language barrier IS a big deal. If I could explain to Milkanu WHY I am saying no to a particular thing, or that he needs to play by himself sometimes, that his brother and sister (and mom for that matter!) need a break... If he could explain to us why he is upset. If we could reason with him... All that would be so helpful. But I know that will come. I just wish we could communicate better right now. I guess I'm just impatient and frustrated sometimes, but I know the Lord wants me to focus on the positive and the great strides we have already made. The biggest improvement is how Milkanu treats Tadesse. He has become very loving and good at sharing with him, holding Tadesse's hand when he tries to walk, and hugging him. He actually seems to like him! That warms my heart.
Tadesse has taken a few steps on his own! He loves to walk (with help) and to cruise the furniture. He tries to repeat a lot of words that we say, and he says "Mommy" and "Daddy" well. Although he isn't a very sound sleeper, he sleeps in late (today I woke him up at 8:30!) That would be great for me except that Milkanu is still getting up a little before 6am every morning. So I am trying to get used to going to bed by no later than 10pm, but really 9 is more ideal, since I am now a very light sleeper. I hear Tadesse a couple of times a night (thankfully he only cries for about 10 seconds and then goes back to sleep), then I hear Brian when he wakes up at 4am. My body is trying hard to adjust, but for being such a night owl all these years, it is a hard adjustment! I am beginning to love my morning coffee (full caff) now more than I ever did to help me wake up. :) I am so fortunate to have a break on the weekends when Brian is home, since he then gets up early with Milkanu. What I can't get over is the energy that this little 5-year-old has at 6:30 in the morning! I can usually get him to sit through one cartoon while I rest on the couch and try to fully wake-up, but by 6:30 he is ready to go and bouncing (literally) around me. I am so feeling my 38 years...
Okay other updates: The boys blood, urine, and stool labs came back last week. The doctor said that everything looked good, except that Tadesse had (still has?) a parasite. He was on antibiotics for a week, and now I have to get his stool retested to make sure it's gone. He is eating better but is still picky. Lately he loves spaghetti and lasagna, milk, still likes eggs, and he eats all those toddler snacks that are mostly puffed air, I think. He usually always eats bread and yogurt, too. His stomach has gone way down and I think it may be close to normal size now. (It was very enlarged due to malnutrition and probably the parasite.) His x-ray on his femur showed no signs of rickets anymore! Yeah! He still turns out his feet when he walks, so I will ask the doctor about that. Both boys have an appointment today, so I'll let you know what she says. We need to start them on vaccinations (don't think they have had any, but we don't know for sure), but I'm not sure if we should do that today and stress them out. They've already had blood drawn and that was pretty tough since they both had to be stuck twice and have the needle moved around so the techs could get good blood flow. :( Fortunately, Brian is meeting me at the appointment so he can help hold down Milkanu if we decide to do it. Tadesse's thyroid level was a little low, so they want to retest that in 6 months. Tadesse was clear of HIV, and all forms of Hepatitis--showed immunity to them all. According to the labs, Milkanu does not have immunity to Hep C. Today we will probably do the skin test for TB and maybe get their hearing/sight tests done.
Okay, I think that is all for now. I have more to write, but I better go relieve Taylor, who has both kids outside on her own. Did I mention lately how thankful I am to have older kids to help me? God is so good that he allowed us to wait to have more children until our biological children were older. I couldn't do this without their help! I pay them each $10 a week (on top of chore money) to help out and play with the boys. It has been wonderful. I will try to write a quick blog later today or tomorrow to let you all know how the doctor appointment goes. It's right during Tadesse's naptime, so should be interesting...
Please keep praying--every day is still a challenge. Your prayers for us have made all the difference for our family. Please keep them coming our way!!!!!
Blessings to you all.
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