It's been a long time since I have last posted a blog, and much has happened. But no pregnancy yet. The 2-year anniversary of Brian's vasectomy reversal surgery has come and gone (June). We talked a lot about adoption, but Brian is just not feeling lead by the Lord in that direction at this time. We bought a new house, and moved in 2 weeks ago. I decided to write a devotional book about infertility. And we saw a new infertility doctor. So a lot has happened since my last post!
We were never planning on moving any further with infertility treatment, but the Lord moved us in a different direction. I had been praying for direction and that God would put it on Brian's heart where we were supposed to go from here. I had been thinking specifically about adoption. But instead Brian came to me out of the blue one day and asked if I wanted to pursue further options in infertility treatment. He said he'd be open to trying more IUIs again. I was shocked and thrilled that he would suggest this without any prompting on my part. Yes, I had posted earlier that we said we'd do three IUIs, and if those failed, we'd be done and let God take it from there. Now here we were several months later, considering trying more treatment. I prayed for a long time asking God if this was truly His will, or if we were taking matters into our own hands, instead of allowing him to get us pregnant "naturally". I just kept feeling a peace about it. I think it was mainly because I had specifically asked God to place His plan on Brian's heart. So when Brian unexpectantly came to me with this offer, I really felt like it had come from the Lord.
I think I always felt that we never really gave it our best shot because I was unhappy with our infertility doctor, to be quite honest. As I shared in earlier blogs, all three IUIs didn't seem to run smoothly. With the first one, the doctor thinks we missed the ovulation, then with the next two, my lining was quite thin, yet both those times Dr. T pushed ahead with the IUIs anyway. I never felt comfortable with that, but I went ahead with it because I felt "the doctor knows best". So the first thing I said to Brian is that I didn't want to do any more treatment with Dr. T. He never liked the guy anyway, so he was fine with switching doctors. I really wanted a second opinion and more testing to find out if it was even worth it for us to go ahead with more IUIs.
Right away, we both really liked our new doctor Dr. Rychlik. He seemed quite suspicious of Dr. T's diagnosis of Brian. Dr. T was always convinced the problem lay with Brian, and never really pursued looking any further than that. Our new doctor retested Brian and ran some tests on me (he suspected I was probably the one with the problems). Brian's tests came back fine. Boy was he quick with his "I told you it wasn't me!" But I was glad the problem probably lies with me and my ovaries not working properly, versus abnormal sperm for Brian, because it's much easier to treat me. He thinks I may have polycystic ovary syndrome, but the tests came back inconclusive. He just doesn't think I'm producing good, quality, robust eggs. A lot of that has to do with my age. We decided the best course of action is to try IUIs a few more times with different--and more potent--fertility drugs this time. If that doesn't work after 3 times (it should--50% chance by the 3rd time), the next step would be IVF or to stop. I don't know how we feel about IVF at this point, but we'll cross that bridge if we get to it. They will monitor me by ultrasound very carefully to make sure I don't produce too many eggs. We don't want quads, but twins or maybe even triplets would be okay!
So, now I'm just waiting for my new cycle to start in about a week and a half, then we'll begin. I will try to keep up better with this blog, so I can keep all of you posted on what's going on with all the treatments. Although my desire for a baby hasn't wained even a little, I have felt more calm about everything in the past few months. Maybe it's because I have been distracted with moving and starting the new school year with the kids. Mostly I think it's a large measure of peace the Lord has given me. My friend said that she thinks God was waiting until we had the room for another baby. Not that we couldn't have made it work with our other house, but it would have been awfully tight. We have a much bigger house now and a room waiting just for him or her (or both!). When friends have toured through our new house they ask, "whose room is that?" They are referring to the empty room next to Preston's. We all respond with "It's the future baby room." :) It's ready and waiting, just like we all are. I still believe with my whole heart that God will bless us with more children. I have renewed hope with the house, the new prognosis, and the new doctor. It's just a matter of time now...
When you think of it, please pray for the following:
1. That we'd continue to walk in the Lord's will, NOT our own. If we head in the wrong direction, may He gently but firmly get us back on course.
2. That we'd have success the very first time we try another IUI.
3. That I don't have any bad side affects to the new stronger fertility medication.
4. That we'd be patient in waiting on God's timing.
5. That if we are supposed to adopt instead, God would cause Brian to want that like I do.
6. Peace, peace, and more peace.
7. That I'd boldly begin to compile my blogs, journals, and thoughts into a book to help others. I know God has put it on my heart to write about this experience in book form, but it's scarey to begin!
Thank you, dear friends, for lifting us up in your prayers. They mean so much.
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