Enduring the Paper Chase

It has been awhile since my last post, and many people have asked, so I thought I'd post an update on the adoption. Also, I will try to answer the question "Why adoption from Ethiopia?" that many people have asked us.

[Before I forget, I had to give you an update on that momma dove who was building her nest in our tree, since I talked about her and the symbolism of her nest in my April blog. We just saw her little baby (not so little by the time we discovered her!) with her in the nest. Because she was always sitting in her nest but there was never any sign of babies there, we assumed they did not survive or even hatch. Actually, it turns out she was sheltering the little bird under her wing. It was a joy to see! I posted a picture of the doves to the right of this post above my other pictures. It was like a sign of hope for me, silly as it may sound.]

So we are currently in the "paper chase" stage of gathering all our documents for the adoption. It is a VERY tedious process, but I'm just trying to stay organized and patient. We have had three meetings with our homestudy caseworker from Christian Family Care Agency in Phoenix. She is a very sweet lady who always prays with us at the end of each meeting. All meetings have gone very well. Our next and final meeting with her will be next Thursday, July 1, and it will be the first one at our house. She will inspect the house for safety (fence around pool, no unlocked firearms, etc.) and will also briefly interview Taylor and Preston. Mainly she'll just ask about their thoughts on the adoption and possibly some things about our parenting, etc. We're not worried about the meeting at all. We have collected and turned in a lot of paperwork for the homestudy phase of the adoption process, completed over 10 hours of online education regarding international adoption, gotten doctor's physicals and fingerprints, sent away for our passports, and more. So, we are waiting for our homestudy to be completed, for approval for adoption from the Arizona courts, and then for our completed and notarized homestudy to be sent to our international agency (World Association for Children And Parents--WACAP). Then begins an even greater paper chase as we gather documents for the Ethiopian government, which is called our dossier. Almost all of the documents for our dossier have to not only be notarized, but also then be authenticated/verified so there is a paper trail. (Kind of hard to explain, so I won't right now.) We will also be applying for approval by immigration to bring in an orphan from another country and getting re-fingerprinted on a national level just after our homestudy is approved. Then after the dossier is completed and sent to Ethiopia, we will wait for acceptance from that government to adopt. Once they approve our dossier, we are officially on the "wait list". Phew!

"How long?" some of you have asked us. That could vary greatly, which is the frustrating part. We decided last month that at this point we feel we should adopt a sibling pair at the same time instead of adopting once child now and then beginning the process all over again a year later. (I cannot imagine repeating this process!) We think it is important for our children to have a sibling of the same race as them since they will be growing up not only in a white family, but also in a predominately white community. By adopting at the same time, they would be biological siblings, and they would have an easier time adjusting in their new lives with us. So, because we will request siblings, we will have a longer wait. Could be anywhere between two months to a year, starting from when we're officially on the waitlist. We are hoping for next summer, but we really don't know at this point. Thankfully, God has taught us MANY lessons on patience in these past five years! We would like a child under one year and the other to be from 0 to 2-1/2 or 3 years old. Boys or girls or one of each. I'd prefer both of the same gender because they will be sharing a room, so that just makes it easier for when they are older. But we'll take whatever God gives us!

"Why Ethiopia?" There are many reasons why we chose Ethiopia. Our original plan (five years ago) was China, but adoptions from there have gotten much more difficult and the process takes up to three years or more. No way were we going to wait that long after all that we've been through! The next country that came to our minds was Ethiopia. We knew that we were always open to adopting children of a different race. In fact, when I pictured an adopted child in our family, for some reason I always pictured that child having a different skin color than my own. I believe God placed that in our hearts. In fact, that is the first answer I give people. We believe God put Ethiopia on our hearts because he has the rest of our family waiting for us there--our children waiting there for us to take them home to their forever family. But we do have more specific reasons for choosing Ethiopia as well:

2) God drew our hearts to the need of this country. There are nearly 5 million orphans in Ethiopia, with over half of them orphaned due to losing a parent or parents to AIDS. The poverty there is tremendous. The following is from a friend's post who is also adopting from Ethiopia: "In Ethiopia one in ten children die before their first birthdays. One in six children die before their fifth birthdays. 44% of the population of Ethiopia is under 15 years old. 60% of children in Ethiopia are stunted because of malnutrition. 1.5 million people are infected with AIDS (6th highest in the world). Because of the lack of access to antiretrovirals, millions have died of AIDS, leaving 4.6 million orphans in Ethiopia. Per capita, Ethiopia receives less aid than any other country in Africa. 1,000 children in Ethiopia will die today."

3) God drew us to the faces of these children. Ethiopians are beautiful people--especially the children! For years our family has sponsored two children in Africa and I have loved looking at their pictures. When my mom came back from her African mission trip, I got tears in my eyes looking at the children's smiling faces in the pictures she took. Despite having very little, they were so joyful. And she said they had so much love to give.

4) Ethiopia also has a pretty smooth adoption process compared to some other countries, and the children are often less institionalized than in some other countries. The ratio of caregivers to children is smaller and the children are held much more, not just laying in their cribs all day. Plus, many of the children have been cared for by extended family members and have spent less time in an orphanage. Often, the death of a parent and/or poverty causes the family member to reluctantly give up the child. It is obvious how much Ethiopia cares for its children. International adoption is definetely not the country's first choice to solve the problem of orphaned children, but it is a good choice. If you are interested in learning more about Ethiopia's history and its orphans, I HIGHLY recommend a book called There is No Me Without You: One Woman's Odyssey to Rescue Africa's Children by Melissa Fay Greene. It is such a good book. If you were even considering adopting from this country, this book will convince you to get started on the paperwork!

5) We are able to possibly adopt a younger child(ren) from Ethiopia than in some other countries. Children may be adopted as young as five months old. We would like at least one child as young as possible so that they will have less emotional, behavioural, and physical trauma and delays.

6) As I mentioned before, we are really anxious to be a multi-cultural family. Despite the many future challenges we are sure to face with raising children of a different race (most of which I am just beginning to understand) we believe it will be an amazing experience for all of our family. We know it will open our eyes to not only other cultures, but also to the difficulties experienced by African Americans. We know that our lives will be enriched by the children God will bring into our home, and that they will bring us to a broadened understanding of the world we live in. I know the lessons our biological children will learn from this experience will forever change and shape them as they become adults and parents one day.

I am sure I will share in future blogs about the many things I am learning regarding raising children of a different race, but this post is long enough already! The book I am currently reading is called "Does Anybody Else Look Like Me?" by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. I am excited to use this blog not only to keep you all updated on the adoption process and our continued journey, but also to share with you what I am learning about transracial adoption and how to best parent so that our children will keep and be proud of their culture and racial identity. I think the Lord will use this to open all of our eyes to things we never knew or felt before.

I will try to be better in keeping this blog more current as we move along in the process. We love for any of you to pray along with us, just as you did during our fertility struggles. If you are willing, please pray for the following:
1)Patience!!!!! 2)For the health and protection of our children in Africa that the Lord has chosen for us: whether they are already born or in their mother's womb. 3)That the adoption process will go smoothly and QUICKLY. Thank you.

"Father to the fatherless, defender of widows--this is God whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families." Psalm 68:5,6

God bless you all!