PREPARING OUR HEARTS...
Yesterday I was sitting in a chair in our backyard by our pool, reading my Bible. In the tree next to me, a momma dove was sitting in her nest, preparing to soon lay her eggs. This past week I have watched her through our large family room windows, carefully and methodically building her nest. Over and over she would fly a single twig over to the tree and gently lay it in place. She was preparing a place for her new baby birds soon to come. It suddenly dawned on me that this is what God has been doing all along with our family. He has been lovingly preparing our hearts and our family over these past years to be fully ready for the child or children He is bringing to us. Piece by piece He had been laying down the foundation. Each experience--from my years of praying for Brian's heart to be changed, to the vasectomy reversal, to the infertility, to the new doctor, to the idea of foster parenting--has been like a layer of twigs being layed while building a nest. Each twig is carefully chosen and important to the structure of the home the bird is building. I believe that God allowed or orchestrated all these things to happen to our family in order to prepare us for where He has now brought us. Not only is He preparing us to be ready for a child or children from another country, but He is also preparing us for the child's sake. The word prepare means "to fit, adapt or qualify for a particular purpose; to make all things ready; to put things in order." It's exciting to me to think that this is just the "small picture" here on earth that God is preparing our family for right now. In the "big picture" though, He is preparing us not only for an eternity spent with Him, but also the eternities of generations of our family yet to come! Pretty mindblowing.
Some of you may think we are indecisive and have chosen many wrong roads before getting to the right one; that we misread God all these years. From the outside it probably looks like that. And I'm not saying we never made a wrong choice or decision along the way. But I feel strongly that God was in control the whole time, like I said in the last blog. In the decisions we made, we felt like we were being led by the Lord to make them. Much time was spent in prayer, fasting, reading scripture, seeking godly counsel, and confirmation from not only God's Word, but the words of godly people around us. I think God took us down the path He needed us to go on to get us where we are today. Each "twig" built upon the other. For some, God takes them on a direct, obvious path to reach where He is leading them. For others (most?) the path is not so clear, with many detours along the way!
I can't say that I loved many of the experiences we went through while we were going through them. At times, the pain, frustration, and hopelessness seemed unbearable. It was uncomfortable. The little momma dove built her nest out of bent, hard, uncomfortable twigs in a tree full of thorny branches. (I know this because while I was inspecting her in her nest a little more closely, one of the thorns caught my arm!) Yet she lined it with soft, downy feathers. God has done that for us. Though the journey has been painful, He has protected us. In the softness of His warm embrace we can find rest and peace. I have been comforted by Him in uncomfortable situations more times in the past years than I can count. I love how the Lord provided this little dove to remind me of His promises. I read in a Bible encyclopedia that in scripture, the wings of a dove symbolized love. Many of you know I have a small tattoo of a dove with a cross on my ankle as a symbol of the Holy Spirit living in me. When I look at it now, it has even more meaning to me than even it did before. It's a reminder of how God has been protecting and preparing me throughout my life.
I'll close with these beautiful words inspired by our Lord:
"For You have been my help. I will rejoice in the shadow of Your wings." Psalm 63:7
"He will cover you with his feathers. Under His wings you will take refuge. His faithfulness is your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:4
Blessings to you all!
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