Better Days Ahead?

I finally feel like I can breath a little, relax a little, smile a little. Yesterday was the best day we've had since being home. NO TANTRUMS!! Milkanu had a few little pouty moments when he was unhappy and ignored us for a little while, but it never developed into any meltdowns like it usually does. I kept holding my breath all day, expecting the inevitable, but then nothing bad ever happened. Even though I know we'll still have difficult, trying times with him, I am thankful for the good days that give me hope for a bright future. I keep trying to remind myself that it's not even been 2 weeks that we've been home. Also, it could be much worse, as it is for some other adoptive families. I'm trying to focus more on the positive, and now that we've had a good day, that is a little easier to do (at the moment). It also helps that Tadesse slept through the night, so I finally feel like we got some good solid sleep. Thanks Megan for suggesting the Melatonin! These feelings may not last, but it is a VERY welcome respite from the sadness, frustration, doubt, and despair I was feeling just two days ago.

Some of my favorite moments from yesterday were watching Milkanu race around the house chasing after his older brother and sister and tickling them, and the semi-quiet moments he and I spent reading books and working on colors during bathtime. We have a book about feelings, which features real photos of kids expressing different feelings (sadness, fear, happiness, loving, etc.). We've been trying to look at that book often with Milkanu and to talk about it the best we can. He seems to really like it. Yesterday I kept showing him "happy" and saying "Mommy, happy" while I smiled big. Then he would say "Milkanu happy". Then we'd demonstrate "loving" with a hug, just like the kids in the book were hugging. I'd show him "angry" on my face and pretend to hit, then I'd shake my head and say "de-DAN-cha" (not good/not okay). Then I'd demonstrate loving and say "DAN-cha" (it is good). I think he was getting it. Today and yesterday I have seen him get upset and withdrawn, but he seems to be controlling it better and not letting his feelings escalate into a tantrum. We usually just leave him alone, while staying in the same room, and then try to distract him with an activity after a little while. So far, it's been working.

Some things you may want to know about Milkanu: He is SO cute--especially when he smiles. His dimples are to die for, and so is his hair. He has semi-soft, loose curls. He is afraid of turtles (found this out in Ethiopia when he and Brian were at the park and saw some there). He eats almost any food we put in front of him. He eats huge portions. He loves ketchup. He does not like milk. He loves injera, which I buy from my Ethiopian friend Asmeret at her African store in Phoenix. He is being so much nicer to his brother than he was when we first got home. He loves to tickle and be tickled. He plays rough. He can count really well and recognize most numbers. He loves to learn. He is friendly, but also a little shy (especially when I try to take his picture). He does not like to wear pajama shorts, but instead picks out regular shorts every time. He likes to go through his whole closet of shirts each morning to pick out what he wants to wear. His favorite color shorts is khaki, which he will choose almost every time (I went out and bought a lot of those!). He does not want to wear colored shorts. He calls Preston "Presitent". When Daddy comes home he runs to greet him and give him a big hug (he does not do this when I come home!). He is afraid of the dark, so we leave the hallway light on with his door open. He is a really big, brave boy because he sleeps in his bed alone if I stay in there with him until he falls asleep. Now that he has dark curtains, he sleeps in until 7am. Preston is very happy about that because it is Preston's room that Milkanu goes into when he wakes up, and 5:30 am wake-ups were not fun! He is very coordinated and can kick the soccer ball well, throw/catch well, and dribble the basketball. Preston and Daddy are his favorites. He is a great kid, and every day that things go well with us, he and I grow closer and more attached. I do not love him with the same intensity that I do my other children, but I have no doubt that I will get there. With all that we've been through already, I know it's just going to take some time to form those close bonds. I do long for that day...

Some things you may want to know about Tadesse: He already has many nicknames, including Taddie, Toddie (Milkanu calls him this), SaySay (that's Taylor's name for him), Grumpy, Pain-in-the-butt... :) Yes, he has quite a personality. If he is unhappy, he lets you know it right away. It is obvious that his cuteness got him far at the orphanage with the nannies. He loves to throw a dramatic fit of wailing/screaming (which is usually tearless) when he doesn't get his way. Then if he gets picked up he turns immediately happy. He also hits and throws toys when he's mad. We're working on all of this with him, but it's not a big concern since he's so young. I know that a lot of kids at 18 months are that way, and all of that behavior is pretty easy to correct. He is very picky with food, but loves his bottle (instant breakfast drink or Pediasure for added nutrition). He will always eat a hard boiled egg (gobicho), so that is pretty much a staple for him 1-2 times a day. He is so loving and has the best smile and lots of teeth. He is attaching to me very well, along with Daddy and brother and sister. He yells "Ma" or "Mommy" very loudly when he wants my attention or when I leave the room. He is pretty wary of strangers. He is getting much better about playing by himself. Tadesse went from barely walking with help in Ethiopia, to cruising furniture, pulling himself up, getting down from the couch, and taking a step or two on his own. We are amazed how quickly he is progressing. We may have to see a PT because due to his rickets, his feet turn out quite a bit when he walks. I'm getting his leg x-rayed today to see how bad the rickets have affected him. Taddie gives wonderful hugs and loves to cuddle. My attachment to him has been much easier, and I'm grateful to have that with at least one of my boys. He was terrified of the dog at first, but is doing much better with her. He is good at repeating words, and he loves to "sing" and babble. We think he's actually saying words and phrases, but since they are in Sidama we don't know for sure! He gets very mad when the kids are outside and he is stuck inside. He does not like swings or being held up high (he gets scared). His hair is coarse and tightly curled. It's kind of like velcro with everything on the floor (dog hair) sticking to it! Overall, he seems to be adjusting very well, and we are really enjoying our time with him.

Brian just got home, and Milkanu did not even greet him. He's definetely in a "mood" again. I'm okay with that as long as it doesn't turn into anything else. We know he is very frustrated with the language barrier and he doesn't like to be told no when it's something he really wants to do. He had been rough-housing with Preston for a long time, and when Preston wanted him to stop, he didn't want to. Phew, this will definetely take some time...

Thank you for your prayers. Even though we've had a little less drama, I'm sure there is still much to come. So, please keep them coming. I will try my best to keep this blog updated as often as I am able. It's definetely harder to find time for myself than it was 3 weeks ago!

All my love...